Anxiety sucks. That’s all. (Long-winded rant.)

"mazda616" (mazda616) 07/17/2019 at 14:28 • Filed to: Anxiety

2

13

I’ve had anxiety all my life. I was officially diagnosed with it in 2004 at the age of 14, when my grandmother got custody of me. Before her, no one cared enough to take me to the doctor.

Anyway, I’ve been on various medications since 2004 and I found a set that worked okay for a few years, now. I stupidly tried to come off of one (with my doctor’s permission) and sent myself into a spiral. On top of the anxiety, I also have OCD and depression. I’m basically a basket case, which I have long since accepted.

I’m starting counseling (again), and I went back on the medicine I tried to come off of (after an emergency doctor’s appointment). And, I picked up some CBD oil tablets to take at bedtime. So far, everything seems to be helping, for the most part.

I still have bad days and bad times, like right now. Sorry for the long rant.

A photo of Jolene the Sunbird from back in March, when I had her detailed. For good measure. Of course, I can’t even enjoy Jolene many times because I’m too busy being scared that something catastrophic on it is going to break. Or that I’m going to get in a wreck and get killed since the car is basically a tin can.

Anxiety is something that permeates every aspect of your life. Road trips? I’m afraid of getting into a bad accident and losing or hurting my wife and son. Weather? I’m scared of hail totaling my car or a tornado ripping up my house. Health? Every headache - is it a tumor or an aneurism? Boss calls or asks me to come to her office - am I getting fired? It is never ending.

:(

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 14:45

2

That sounds exhausting mate

I hope one day you beat all that shit

mazda616 > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 07/17/2019 at 14:46

1

Thanks, man. Yeah, it is exhausting. I’m tired (mentally and physically) very often.

I think I’m naturally a nervous person, but the way I was raised has a lot to do with what I’m dealing with now.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 14:48

8

This is exactly how I go about my life.

I’ve used cars as an escape from all of it. I wouldn’t wish anxiety on my worst enemy. It’s been a decade this month since I was diagnosed, yet I’m still here. Every day brings me closer to escaping its confines. Some days are bad, yet some are good. In the midst of the shitshow, I’ve been able to take comfort in cars, whether real ones, virtual ones, printed ones, or scale model ones.

I wish you all the best with your anxiety. God knows it’s a never ending struggle, yet I know I’ll make it someday.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 14:55

1

Understood

Im at the other end of the spectrum nothing to do with how I was raised tho... just knocked down a couple times too often

What will be will be

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 07/17/2019 at 14:55

2

Cars are my escape as well, also I just try not to care too much about anything anymore. Call it a bad way to live life, but hell it works. I've also greatly reduced usage of social media, including Oppo, and since I'm lucky and actually have a good group of real friends I don't bother meeting new people. Obviously there are still those times where I worry excessively about virtually nothing, but it happens and eventually you just gotta push through and look for the best in everything. Honestly this paragraph kinda got away from me and probably doesn't make sense but whatever, bottom line is cars are a great escape from your problems.

Poor_Sh > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 15:12

1

Hey, I don’t claim to be an expert but hell I’ve got a lot of experience with similar issues between myself, friends, exes, etc. Something I’ve started telling them all which worked really well for me and is common sense I’m sure, but maybe try it.

Think of everything you do that stops your brain from being able to overthink, or think at all if you get my meaning. Write this list down, physically do this. For me this list had some of the following: Soccer, reading, good tv/movies (unfortunately if you’re trying to get off the couch), some video games, guitar, bass, drums, autocross, track driving etc etc.

Now, some things are harder to do in say a scenario where you’re at work, you likely can’t find 21 people to play soccer with right then. But can you listen to songs that you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO listen to the lyrics? Can you play an engrossing cell phone game for a few minutes? Essentially, make sure you have enough variety on the list for lots of scenarios. Lots of these only delay the thoughts, but that can be enough to get through the day. It’s still going to be tough, it’s still going to hurt, but if you can take some control back and get out of your own head I promise it helps.

Corkscrew'd > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 15:18

1

Hang in there, buddy.

You took some great steps in going to counseling and getting some CBD oil tablets. Sometimes, it’s hard not to worry about the things you can’t control, but you could always remind yourself that the things beyond your control aren’t your fault if they go pear-shaped. Sometimes, just focusing on the things you can immediately change could help immensely.

Also, that is the cleanest Sunbird I’ve ever seen!

Tripper > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 15:23

1

+1

I never addressed my mental health issues until a few years ago (Anxiety/Depression) I always bottled those feelings or let them come out as anger.

Since doing that everything has gotten a lot better but it is WORK. I go to therapy once per week, the psychiatrist once every few months, I take a prescription every day, I take another when I’m having a real tough time, I work out everyday, I practice mindfulness every day. I still have bad days/weeks, I just came off of a really bad one.

Honestly the only thing that completely brings me out of my head and into the present is my daughter. I don’t want her to see me upset or distracted because kids are receptive to that even as young as she is. I can’t think about anything else while I’m with her because she wants, and I want to give her 100% of my attention.

Working out is the other thing that has helped a lot. I still hate running, but I feel amazing afterward. As I type this I’m thinking about how badly I do not want to go for a run. 90 minutes from now I will be happy that I did it.

Beyond that, the notion that everyone sufferers with anxiety/depression at some level is comforting. I just happen to be more sensitive to it and am also not great at coping with it.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 15:49

1

I feel you. Don’t let anybody marginalize it and please know that you are not alone.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 15:56

1

Thanks for sharing, and that wasn’t long or a rant at all. It’s great seeing all the responses from people chiming in with their experiences as well, and being someone without a condition like this it helps create awareness as to how prevalent conditions like yours are, and that we mustn’t just assume everyone else’s life works the same way.

Seems like you’re getting the medical assistance you need, which isn’t the case for many and hopefully you feel like you have the support and understanding of those around you as well. Like I said, your post wasn’t a rant or long at all – and I’m sure plenty here would be supportive to continue to be an outlet for you – we all need that sometimes, for a variety of things we might be working through.

That’s a beautiful car you’ve got there – it’s great to see “regular” cars that are getting rarer with age still being cared for and loved. I recently had to give up my 25 year old car for similar safety concerns – don’t automatically let yourself think that just because you’re worried about something it must be unreasonable!

Chariotoflove > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 17:26

1

We are dealing with anxiety and depression in my family. I can say with conviction that medicinal chemistry is wonderful thing. Embrace the medical arts.

Be well, my friend. Know that you’re not alone.  There are many of us in the boat with you pulling for you.

Bylan - Hoarder of LS400's > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 17:27

1

I understand your struggle. Regulating ones own emotions sometimes feels completely uncontrollable. That gut feeling you get first thing in the morning, makes eating and sleeping hard. Just keep at it, and im glad the cbd seems to be helping. The stigma of all that needs to be ended, they have excellent medicinal properties. I wish you luck in this life, life is the most beautiful and difficult struggle. And you have one FLY ASS sunbird im jealous of it. 

pip bip - choose Corrour > mazda616 07/18/2019 at 04:04

1

if it helps i’m paranoid